I was stupid.
I was really stupid.

I have trust issues, but not the kind that you think. Typically when people say that it is their way of saying that they don’t trust anyone. Well… my half full cup runneth over (don’t worry about logistics… just… believe me…TRUST ME)(see what I did there? FULL CIRCLE) with trust and it never fails to burn my ass.
But I keep doing it.
And I keep getting a burned biscuit.

I DON’T EVEN LIKE BISCUITS!

Anyways, when I left BabyJob back in October, it was only partially of my own free will. I was promised something (or… 35 somethings) and then when the time came, I was given something else (10-ish somethings) which was not a reasonable replacement for me. I made the choice to not suck it up and live in a van down by the river, so I found something that didn’t matter.
Something that didn’t matter so much that it slowly sucked my will to live in it’s own special, corporate, money hungry, disrespectful, advantage taking way.

I thought that things at BabyJob would be different after HipMomma left so when Robot and The Dragon AND OctoBoss told me in July that I would be opening an infant room, I believed them. Opening an infant room means that I will have full time, Monday thru Friday, benefits, and a job that I like significantly more that The Job That Didn’t Matter.

Long story short: No one can tell me when I start. When I asked Robot, he said “Ask The Dragon. I’m out of town.” When I asked The Dragon what Tuesday was going to look like she said “Oooohh… did Robot say you were starting on Tuesday?”
“Yeah… he did…”
“Oooohhh… well… ok… let me text Robot and OctoBoss because I don’t know anything about this. I’ll text them and let you know when I hear back.”

That was Friday morning.

I know I’m over reacting a bit, but… am I? Not only do I not know WHEN I start, but I don’t know my title, I don’t know my schedule, I don’t know how much I’m making… I KNOW NOTHING! They tell me every week that I’ll start next week. Then Next Week comes along and it’s moved to Next Week. On top of that, it’s really sounding like I’m going to open an infant room under the direction of someone WHO HAS NEVER WORKED WITH INFANTS (wth, guys…). And now… NOW while I’m typically on the sub schedule as “available”, I’m no where on the list at all. So I won’t even be considered for work next week. I worked 5 hours last week. 5 HOURS.

I mean… C’mon guys… COME ON. That doesn’t incite a whole lot of confidence in this little lady.

I decided to turn this set back into an opportunity (or some shit).

While I’m possibly needlessly freaking out about not having a job (which I may or may not actually have), I’ve started applying for jobs.

In Seattle.

I’m doing it kind of half assedly, but I’m doing it. I won’t move up there for less than $13 which is actually probably going to be kind of hard to come by, but… maybe not. The truth is that I might consider $11, but… it’s a little scary. I kind of decided that on a whim and then, before I knew it, I had applied for 4 jobs up there. Even now I have 7 tabs open in my browser– 5 of them are Seattle Jobs and 2 of them are Portland Jobs. It doesn’t help that the unemployment rate in PDX is so high, but… still. What Am I Doing?!

I should really REALLY start thinking about what I’m going to do if I actually get offered one of these 206/425 jobs……..