My days of crazy hair are (momentarily) behind me.
Really, I’m just on the “Mainstream” part of my cycle. At least… that’s what I’m trying for. As mainstream as a short asymmetrical with a nasty lil rat tail can be… basically, this is my hair right now:It, of course, does not look this good because I refuse to put real color in it on account of my grays (I love them. I know they’re there, I just wish I could see them)(that’s not Crazy Talk: they’re clustered just behind my ears…) and the general upkeep of color that I don’t want to deal with. Also, I don’t do that with my lips. That looks stupid. Sometimes when you do that with your lips in EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FACEBOOK PICTURES I DE-FRIEND YOU 98% FOR THAT REASON.
So really…. This is what my hair looks like:…which is kind of the same thing… right? Mine is a little more Helmutty because it’s so hot, I’ll just sweat any style right out and I don’t have any hi-lights or nuthin in there so it’s just a solid brown *insert Price Is Right Loser Horn here*
Oh… I forgot her mouth…..ok. That’s more better.
So, my hair is pretty boring right now considering all of the things it has been. I’m working back toward something a little more like this:The hair is a lie! I don’t’ really want that. But I will remind all of you that I have a picture of my mom with this hair. Granted, it was current at the time, but she had it. Oooooh man did she have it. Your mom only WISHED she could have it.
What I really want to work toward because I think it is damn adorable is this little ditty (last one and then back on topic. We’re WAAAAAY off track here)(and you expect nothing less.)I mean JEZUZ… just look at that shit… it’s totally adorable forever. That is what I want. That is where I’m going. That is what I will have.

I decided a while back that one of these days I need to go spend money on a haircut again. Ever since I started booty school, I think I’ve maybe paid for a haircut once. MAYBE. Before that, I paid a pretty penny because I have difficult hair. I also know how to deal with my difficult hair therefor making me a slightly difficult client.
I like to think I’m Helpfully Specific.
Sometimes, though, Specificity doesn’t always work and you end up with a) something half way to what you wanted b) something theoretically that you wanted but it’s WAY too short or c) something so far off what you wanted that you have trouble holding it together in the stylists presence and they are, from that point forward, forbidden from ever, Ever, EVER touching your hair ever again. Ever. Other times it’s just… eh.
I’m growing out a difficult haircut… a very difficult haircut. One does not go from a mohawk to long beautiful hair in one swoop… there is a loooooooong awkward stage full of bobby pins and headbands and hair wraps to keep that shit out of sight.

I went and paid for a haircut yesterday.
It was time.
I sat down in the lady’s chair and told her what I wanted.
“I’m in the process of growing it out so I don’t want length off, I just want it cleaned up here around the ears,” (I had a lot of “wispy” ends that just emphasized my fine hair. gross.) I showed her exactly where. “I have cowlicks here *show* and here *show* so I don’t want anything off the top… like from here forward *show* because they’re just finally to a place where I can leave them down. I want the back, up to about here *show* pretty close. It tends to get mulletty so I want all of that taken off, including the tail. I’m ready to lose the tail.”

She left my tail and left my mullet.

While she was cutting it though, she told me that I dress “Very fashion!”
I was wearing a blue tank top from Target and my favorite wrap skirt from Saturday Market with the elephants and the flare and the… gad I love that skirt… and stinky old flip flops. My hair was tied back with a blue nike headband and I was wearing my pink sunglasses.
Fashionably, I was a big, fat, manicured and pedicured NO.

I put on my small girl smile/ voice, giggled and said thank you.
In my head I was questioning her vision and, in turn, my choice to have her cut my hair.
We had good stylist talk and she was a very sweet woman.
Once we were finished, she styled my hair UBER Anime– I had swooped bangs to the side and then…. it went STRAIGHT BACK. My whips were still down, but everything else? Straight. Back.
Had I been wearing makeup and real clothes, I might have loved it.
“Your hair! It very fashion! Olga! Do you like this?! Her hair… it very fashion!”
Olga agreed and loved the gross bits of needing to be toned gold in my bangs.

Finally, I got my haircut. I still have the tail, but… I got my haircut. Now… to wait another 4 months to get it done again.