Sometimes All I Need Is The Air That I Breathe

Tonight I was going to do something simply because Dibs asked me to. It was my night off, but I had planned on going to work. Not because I need the hours (I didn’t) or because I like the job (I hate it) or because I had nothing better to do (True Blood is a [...]

Playing Opossum Isn’t As Fun When You’re Really Dead

You hate opossums. You hate them bad. They eat your cat food. They fight your dog. They probably kill your chickens. They knock over your trash cans. They scare the bejesus out of you when they are in your bathtub at 3 in the morning with a bottle of jagermeister, a bag of meth and [...]

White Folks Gettin Hitched

The White Folks got married last week and even though your wedding was nice and all, theirs was the best (of people I know. Because in the history of good weddings, Tj’s friends Evan and Cori did this and nothing will EVER be better than that)(and I’ve only met Evan a handful of times and [...]

Happy Guts and Furry Trees

LL and I finally (partially) realized our dream today: we went hiking together. Not only was this the first time that I was on “her turf”, but it was also the first time that I met the Man Child and, therefore, my first time seeing her as LL The Mom (well aren’t WE just full [...]

I Pretend It’s Thunder…

I used to have a pink bike that I found the same way I found my favorite ivory wool pea coat… luck. I missed out on the one I had my heart set on and then, right as I decided that I was just going to stop looking, there it was. Right in front of [...]

I’d Rather Gather Moss. Moss is Nice.

I’m not a traveler. For not being a traveler, I feel like I post about it a lot. But I’m still not. I’m a roots kind of girl… find a nice spot and make it the best place in the world. To some extent, travel appeals to me; If it weren’t for travel, I wouldn’t [...]

Rectal Needles: I Didn’t Sign Up For This Either

Well…. Here we are… Sitting. Waiting. Rumor has it we’ll be here for at least 7 hours… that’s a long time to wait… But then again, an hour is a long time to wait. We laughed because Ryan bought Jess flowers and cherry cordial kisses this morning. “Are these your favorite or Arwen’s favorites?” “They’re [...]

Dear Ryan,

This whole Spinal Tumor thing of yours is really cramping my style… I mean… could you not have picked a better time to do this? I have school finals to study for. I went on a REALLY good date on Saturday night but since SOMEONE has to get a tumor removed from the INSIDE of [...]

Mrs. Lucky, Lady Love, and That Bitch La Niña

I have this delusion of grandeur that could quite possibly make me happier than most anything else… BACKSTORY: I hate it when my worlds collide. Absolutely hate it. I have several circles of friends and it ALWAYS weirds me out when those paths cross whether it be my doing or not. When I found out [...]

And If A Frog Had Wings He Wouldn’t Bump His Ass When He Hopped…

Ladies and Gentlemen: Pigasus is in the works. Mr. and Mrs. Lucky have a tattoo friend who is in the apprenticeship stage and he’s good. real good. So I decided to jump on this bandwagon and get a new, cheap, tattoo (side note: if you ever call it “ink” or a “tat” I will defriend [...]